


Eventually, I fall into you

by oliwellwhocares



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Established Relationship, Fluff, God i love this tag, Healthy Communication, M/M, No actual wedding takes place, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Wedding discussions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-25
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-08-07 10:21:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16406585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oliwellwhocares/pseuds/oliwellwhocares
Summary: I can’t remember the first time I thought about it, but I’m sure that ever since I met you, when I’ve thought about marriage, I’ve thought about Killua!





	Eventually, I fall into you

**Author's Note:**

> Rating T is for swearing, because I swear a lot and I love Killua so Killua swears a lot. This is how it works, right?

When his little sister asks, with a teasing voice and mischievous eyes: “So, when are you two getting married?”, Killua Zoldyck, a 22 year-old, perfectly reasonable young man, is very proud to say that his reaction is completely sensible and dignified. He blushes a little bit, sure. But he’s pretty sure that it’s barely visible, and he doesn’t even look away. He sighs a little bit, and already knows what he’s going to say to get a revenge on Alluka. They’ve been doing this for years now, annoying each other, preferably in public, until one of them gets too embarrassed and calls it off. It’s usually him, but he’s been getting better. It’s telling that she decided to attack on the subject of his boyfriend, and in front of said boyfriend. She’s running out of options, and he can feel victory getting closer.

The sense of comfort and familiarity the situation provides mean that he is entirely unprepared for Gon’s answer.

“Well, I was thinking spring! It’s romantic, right?”

Killua immediately slams his head on the surface of the table the three of them are sharing, in a corner of a lovely cafe. Things had been going so well. Of course Gon would pull something like that on him.

He stays in position, desperately trying to lower the temperature of his face, and his brain running at full power to try to understand _why did he say that_ and _what did he meant_ and _what the fuck am I supposed to answer to that_. During the first several seconds of his agony, he can hear a cough, apparently coming from Alluka choking on her own drink, since he also hears Gon, with his worried and apologetic tone, asking if “You sure you’re okay? Can you breathe normally?”. This provides him with the small comfort that at least, she is as shocked as he is, he hasn’t been tricked by the two people he loves. This is just Gon being Gon.

“Killua?”

Oh. His sister’s choking turned into laughter, so now it seems to be his turn to face the weird, oblivious, adorable man he’s in love with. He can do that.

“Hmm?”, he mumbles as he turns his face, still resting almost his entire torso on the table. His eyes cross Gon’s, big and golden and worried and full of affection, and reflecting a smile as he asks, “Would you prefer summer? I just think you would look pretty surrounded in flowers!” and so actually Killua was wrong about everything ever. He can’t do this.

He immediately shoves his head into the warm wood again. Ah, wood. Solid, predictable, doesn’t make his heart feel like it’s going to leap out of his chest by saying very awkward and somehow absolutely adorable bullshit. Killua loves wood. Maybe he should date wood.

But his actual, true boyfriend is calling his name again, sounding more worried than before, and no matter the humiliations he’s sure to face, it seems like he has to deal with that. Because of love, or something. _What have I gotten myself into_ , he wonders, not for the first time in the ten years since he met Gon Freecss, and certainly not for the last.

He mutters a few words into the table, hoping that maybe, for a few more seconds, maybe hours, he could hide himself, and those fucking feelings that have no right to feel this good.

“What did you say?”

No such luck.

Slowly, he raises himself, blinking in the brightness of the afternoon. Amazing, there’s still a world out there. A world with quiet voices a few tables over, and his sister, still giggling like the adorable pest she is, and his boyfriend, still looking incredibly handsome and way too casual for someone who just talked about his wedding plans.

“I said, what the fuck Gon.”

“Ah, so you do think spring is good!”

This prompts Alluka to laugh even harder, and her brother’s face to get even hotter than before. He’s pretty sure that in a few seconds, his brain is just going to melt through his ears. Who allowed Gon to look at him like that, like Killua hang the sun, the moon and the stars, making him almost impossible to resist to even as he was making plans for a marriage that they had never talked about, in any way. Oh gods, give him strength.

“Gon, spring is… Not the question.”

The young man tilts his head, one of the many childish demeanor he kept for all those years that they had known each other, and Killua feels like he’s going to have a breakdown. He got better, with his emotions. Recognizing them, not letting them pile up and fill him until they paralyze him. It’s hard, and he still doesn’t like it, and it feels like being weak, but he manages. So just now, when he feels himself tripping over the limit between the light teasing about his difficult feelings, and the dark hole of never feeling enough, he takes Gon’s hand, and whispers “Later.”

He can’t look at him in the eyes, but his boyfriend squeezes his hand, and whispers back, a soft “Okay” that Alluka, taking heavy breaths, probably doesn’t hear. Gon has been getting better too. Looking out for Killua, who never wants anyone to worry about him. Quieting down his naturally loud voice, listening and looking for the small clues to tell him what he can do to help.

So they drop it, Gon asks Alluka about the new headband she’s wearing, and she starts talking enthusiastically about the friend who gave it to her, not even trying for a second to go back on the previous subject. When Killua takes a deep breath and finally looks ahead again, the little complementary chocolate that came with her order is laid in front of him, a silent apology that isn’t needed, but that he’s certainly not going to reject.

In the light of the afternoon and the sweet taste of the chocolate, with a warm hand in his, he listens to their laughter and lets himself love them.

 

* * *

 

 

Of course, that’s not the end of it. Because years ago, Alluka decided that he needed to _talk_ about his _feelings_ , and then she told it to Gon, and now, with all the practice they got, his two sisters and his boyfriend can easily tell when they need to let him deal with something on his own, or when they need to push him.

So, they change the subject at the cafe, but then they’re back in their room, and Gon takes his hand and gets this soft look that means “I’m going to bother you but it’s because I care”, and annoyingly enough, Killua knows perfectly well what he’s going to ask.

“Have you thought about this before?”, he asks before his boyfriend gets a chance to talk. “The whole wedding thing. I mean, the idea of...”

“Getting married with you?”, Gon completes, sitting on their bed, still holding his hand. Killua lets himself fall beside him, laid on the cover with his legs over the edge. He keeps his eyes resolutely fixated on the ceiling when he nods.

“It’s not exactly that I thought about it, it just always seemed obvious, I guess.”

Staring at the ceiling is definitely a good idea. Gon lays down next to him, and he can feel his eyes on him, on his cheeks rapidly heating, but at least he can pretend to ignore it. If he pretends really hard that he’s not embarrassed at all, he may survive this conversation.

“Since we met, I’ve always known that I wanted to stay with you, and marriage is just a party to say that people will stay together forever, so I’ve always had the idea that I was going to marry Killua one day!”

“Since we were twelve?”, he can’t help but ask, even though he knows perfectly well that his boyfriend is capable of that. Killua is the one who kissed him first, almost five years ago, but Gon reacted so naturally, with a smile and another light kiss, that he had spent weeks torturing himself to know if it had really meant the same thing to the both of them. After a very humiliating phone call to Aunt Mito that ended up with her in a fit of uncontrollable laughter, and him hanging up angrily, he had decided that he was doomed to live the rest of his life in an uncertain state between boyfriend, and best friend that kisses his best friend sometimes. Two days later, Gon had introduced him as his boyfriend, and he almost had a cardiac arrest on the spot. This had ended up much in the same way, except this time the conversation had been in the middle of the street, with them shouting at each other that “I’ve been in love with you for years!” and “I’ve been in love with you since we met!” and “I was probably in love with you before I even met you!”, and okay, maybe he went he little bit overboard with this one. All this to say, he really wasn’t surprised by Gon’s answer.

“Sort of? I can’t remember the first time I thought about it, but I’m sure that ever since I met you, when I’ve thought about marriage, I’ve thought about Killua!”

Slowly, careful not to meet Gon’s eyes, Killua turns around, towards his boyfriend, and bury his face in his shoulder.

“It’s fucking cute”, he mumbles, and of course, his only answer is an interrogative “Hm?”

He detaches his mouth from the fabric covering the always warm skin, and articulates: “It’s cute. You. You’re fucking cute.”

Gon laughs brightly, and turns too, dropping a light kiss in the middle of Killua’s white curls.

“You’re cute too”, he answers with a murmur. Killua loves Gon’s voice, determined in the most stupid situations, sunny and enthusiastic, but this voice, the one he has when they’re isolated and together, like he’s only speaking for Killua… This voice is his weakness. A weakness in the middle of his giant, Gon-shaped weak spot.

They don’t move for a while. Killua’s free hand migrated on his boyfriend’s waist, Gon’s other hand is on his back, and he kinda never wants to move.

“So, don’t you want to?”, Gon finally asks, still with his soft voice that Killua can’t resist. “Get married, I mean.”

And he blames the special voice, and the fingers playing with his, and the fact that he is half asleep anyway, for the way he doesn’t think when he answers “I’ll think about it.”

And if he dreams of warm fires on the beaches of Whale Island, and all their friends together, and Gon smiling brightly at him, well, no one needs to know.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! Please leave a comment if you can!


End file.
